"I feel" Messages

"I feel" Messages
The "I feel" message is the first conflict resolution skill we teach to students in the Falmouth Public School System. "I feel " messages are taught to all kindergarteners within the first month of the school year. The Elementary School Counselors then teach, review, and reinforce "I feel" messages with students in first and second grade at Lunt, as well as in third and fourth grade at Plummer Motz.

An "I feel" message is used to tell someone how you feel about something they have done. However, it can certainly be used when you are happy about something as well. We also explain to students that just because an "I feel" message is used, it does not mean that they will get their way, but at least they have told the person how they feel.

Below are the steps to building and "I feel" message:

Building an "I feel" Message

I feel ______ (explain how it made you feel using a feeling word)

when ______. (tell the person exactly what they did)

I want ______. (say what you want from them)

Examples:
"I feel mad when you don't listen to me. I want you to listen to me when I'm talking to you."

"I feel sad when you call me names. Please stop calling me names."